My life changed in an instant in 2009 when my husband, Seth, was in an automobile accident, which left him incapacitated with a traumatic brain injury. This-life altering experience led me to start the 820 Foundation as a way to educate, inspire, and empower individuals to see end-of-life planning as a part of life. My hope is to use this tragedy to help others avoid the pitfalls of putting emergency planning on the back burner.
On August 20, 2009 my life changed forever when my husband, Seth, was in a devastating car accident.
There were dozens of other injuries sustained by other people in the accident, and another man ended up dying in that accident.
Seth, however, lived.
And once it became clear Seth was not going to die, my family jumped right in and helped build a sustainable schedule for our one year old son, Tucker, so he could stay with them long-term while I was with Seth at the hospital.
I stayed in one of the hospital’s “hospitality rooms,” which are located down by the morgue and the lab. Although it was creepy down there, I was so thankful that I had a place to stay in the same building as Seth.
I stayed in that little room by the morgue from that moment forward, hunkering down there when I wasn’t allowed to be by Seth’s side. I was only able to see Tucker on weekends when my dad would bring him to me, because it was too hard to have a one-year-old in the hospital full-time.
I was holding it together, but I oscillated between grief, hope, despair, and faith almost constantly.
What added to the pain of this awful accident was the fact that I now had to apply for emergent guardianship.
Since Seth and I didn’t have catastrophe planning in place, I wasn’t automatically granted any rights over medical decision-making or over his medical care.
This was my first visit with a guardian ad litem, a person appointed by the court whose job it was to come spend time with Seth and me and make sure that he really was incapable of making his own decisions and that I was the one capable of acting on his behalf.
The man was so kind, reassuring me all the way, but the notion of proving just how bad things were created a tornado of emotions within me that swept me through life with my feet barely touching the ground.
After what seemed like endless, tedious work on top of my already overflowing list of responsibilities, the application for emergent guardianship became approved.
But I knew it only lasted 90 days. This meant my stomach was constantly knotted thinking about the days ticking by when I’d have to go through the process again—this time in a courtroom with representation, supporting documents, and the need to prove I was capable and worthy of guardianship.
Never in a million years did I imagine myself going to court to prove my love, devotion, and steady heart for Seth.
The thought was almost too much to bear.
HIRING AN ATTORNEY
Hiring an attorney can seem like an overwhelming process. You may hesitate to contact one because you don’t know what questions to ask or how to get the ball rolling.
Here is a list of 10 questions you can use as a jumping-off point when you chat with a potential attorney about your end-of-life planning needs.
- What type of attorney do I need?
- What is your experience in this area of law?
- How many types of law do you practice? How much of your practice is devoted to estate planning? [ask about your case particulars here]
- How much will this cost?
- How do you structure your fees? Hourly? Flat fee?
- What is expected of me throughout this process?
- Are you the attorney that will be handling my case? Will there be a paralegal or legal assistant working on my case?
- When I have questions, who will be my primary contact? What can I expect in terms of communication?
- If this matter becomes contested, will you handle it or refer it out?
- Are you Board Certified in elder law? [ask about your case particulars here]
We are not providing legal advice. All estate planning varies state by state. Please seek an attorney in your state for specific information and details.
Click the following links for free downloads of the 10 questions to ask an attorney as well as what documents you need at different stages of your life.