My life changed in an instant in 2009 when my husband, Seth, was in an automobile accident, which left him incapacitated with a traumatic brain injury. This-life altering experience led me to start the 820 Foundation as a way to educate, inspire, and empower individuals to see end-of-life planning as a part of life. My hope is to use this tragedy to help others avoid the pitfalls of putting emergency planning on the back burner.
I am so passionate about end of life planning because it would have changed our lives.
We plan everything in our lives.
We make itineraries for our travels. We devise strategic weight-loss regimens. We institute goals in our careers. We research recipes and meal prep. We hang hourly schedules on the refrigerator for our children.
Planning not only takes the thinking out of things, but also helps us prepare for the obstacles that will inevitably arise when our plans go awry, and we all know a good contingency plan goes a long way.
Yet, the one thing most of us do not plan for is death.
Whether it’s the result of a tragedy or the natural aging process, everyone is going to be faced with the end and with it, end-of-life decisions.
Many people don’t realize that you can either choose to make those decisions for yourself ahead of time, or you can choose to let whoever is present in that moment make them for you.
A third option is to designate ahead of time the person who will make those decisions for you if you can’t make them for yourself. I tell you from experience, this is a gift that you give to your loved ones when you make those decisions for yourself.
One four-page document for the state of Missouri—a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Health Care Directive—would have changed our lives forever. This document is often called a DPA or a Health Care Directive for short.
In the state of Missouri, it is a free download available online.
But unfortunately, we hadn’t completed and signed a DPA and we are in the majority, not the minority. We were completely naïve and had no idea what medicine was capable of and what we were up against until tragedy struck.
So, when tragedy struck my family, health care professionals made all the choices because we had nobody appointed to make those choices in those moments.
Without a DPA or Health Care Directive, we were left at the mercy of doctors’ opinions, advancements in science, and the law.
My wish is to empower you to look at death as a part of this beautiful life we’ve been given and make the choices we all deserve to have ultimate power over.
DOCUMENTATION THAT YOU NEED
As your life changes, your end-of-life planning should evolve. We know this can be tricky to keep up with, so we’ve created this list to simplify things. Once you’ve selected an attorney, you will meet with him or her to have these documents drawn up. Use this list as a guide, but do not feel limited by it. If you have additional questions or needs, always bring them to your legal representative for counsel.
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED
A couple might consider drawing up a Last Will & Testament and/or Revocable Trust in addition to a medical power of attorney, advanced directive and financial power of attorney. You should make sure your spouse knows your wishes, and you should put those wishes into legal documents that can be utilized when you really need them.
WHEN SOMEONE TURNS 18
You might consider getting a medical power of attorney, advanced directive and financial power of attorney. These are the very basic documents needed as you venture out into the world.
AS YOU RETIRE
Time again to review your current planning to be sure it is still relevant. Do your assets still go where you want them to go? Are the people named in your current documents still the people you would like to serve in those particular roles? Executor, attorney-in-fact, trustee, guardian, etc.
WHEN YOU HAVE AN EMPTY NEST
Review your current planning to be sure it is still relevant. Do your assets still go where you want them to go? Are the people named in your current documents still the people you would like to serve in those particular roles? Executor, attorney-in-fact, trustee, guardian, etc.
INHERITANCE
If you have received a large inheritance and it’s not meant to be a marital asset upon your passing, clarifying your intentions through your estate plan is important to ensure your wishes are honored.
IF YOU DIVORCE OR ARE WIDOWED
You will need to consult an attorney to review your plan and make any necessary revisions/changes. Changes may not be warranted, but you should visit with an attorney regarding your plan to be sure it accomplishes what you want upon your passing.
WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY
If you do not already have it, you might consider drawing up a Last Will & Testament and/or Revocable Trust in addition to a medical power of attorney, advanced directive and financial power of attorney. If you already have these documents in place, you should consult an attorney to discuss children and how to incorporate guardian provisions into your current plan should something happen to you or your spouse. If you have a special needs child, you should consult an attorney to discuss a Special Needs Trust also known as a Supplemental Needs Trust to protect your assets and theirs.
*Periodically review your documents, especially when something major happens in your life. You should also pick up your estate plan to review it every 3-5 years to be sure it accomplishes your goals and that your wishes are honored when you are gone.
We are not providing legal advice. All estate planning varies state by state. Please seek an attorney in your state for specific information and details.